Forgiving without Pretending
Written for Bible Journey Plan. Our editorial standards.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21-22 KJV
Some people use the word forgiveness to mean that a hurt must never be discussed again. Others use it as a polite word while they keep planning how to get even. Jesus teaches a deeper mercy than either response.
His answer to Peter rules out treating forgiveness as a limited supply reserved for a few acceptable mistakes. We need to remember how much mercy we ourselves have received. We can stop wishing harm on a person while still telling the truth about what that person did.
Reconciliation involves both people, and restored trust requires trustworthy conduct. Threats, abuse, or repeated bullying need responsible adult help. You are not betraying the teaching of Christ by seeking protection. Within those truths, refuse to make bitterness your daily companion. Address what must be addressed, release revenge to God, and remain open to the real change that repentance can bring.
Put the passage into practice
Forgiveness cannot be reduced to a number of chances before revenge becomes acceptable. Jesus' teaching exposes that way of keeping accounts. Work toward releasing personal vengeance while speaking honestly about the harm. Rebuilding trust may take time and evidence of change, and serious wrongdoing needs appropriate intervention. Do not let someone use this passage to demand secrecy or immediate access to hurt you again. Mercy and responsible protection can belong together.
Keep the passage in context
Peter asks about repeated forgiveness. Jesus rejects a small limit on mercy, and the following parable exposes the wrong of receiving great forgiveness while withholding it from others.
Read further: Matthew 18 in the King James Bible.