Grow beyond the Old Way of Reacting
Written for Bible Journey Plan. Our editorial standards.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV
Some reactions survive long after the circumstances in which we learned them. Sulking, shouting, withdrawing to punish, or insisting on the last word can become familiar ways of handling disappointment.
Paul's illustration concerns a larger truth about maturity and completeness. It also reminds us that growing includes putting away ways that no longer belong. Familiarity alone does not make a habit suitable for a marriage.
Identify one reaction that regularly causes harm. Learn a more responsible response and practice it deliberately. That may mean stating the need plainly, taking a short agreed pause, or returning to a conversation instead of avoiding it indefinitely.
Change often requires patient help, especially where earlier experiences were painful. Seek sound counsel rather than excusing the pattern as an unchangeable part of your personality. Christ's grace gives believers reason to expect growth. You do not have to become someone else, but you can become more responsible in the way you handle strong feelings. A spouse should be able to see that the passing years are bringing some willingness to learn, repent, and respond with greater care.
Keep the passage in context
Paul uses the movement from childhood to maturity within his discussion of partial knowledge and future completeness. The illustration recognizes that growth involves leaving earlier ways behind.
Read further: 1 Corinthians 13 in the King James Bible.