Lowering the Heat

Turning a burner higher will not cool a pot that is boiling over. Most of us understand that in the kitchen and forget it in a disagreement. We hear a sharp tone and reach for a sharper one. Soon the subject has disappeared beneath the way we are speaking.

A soft answer is not an agreement with everything your spouse says. It is a truthful answer delivered without the intention to wound. You can say that a promise was broken without adding an insult about character, intelligence, or family.

I need this instruction most when I feel entitled to ignore it. Being tired may explain my short temper, but it does not make cruel words right. The Lord sees the way I speak after everyone else has gone home.

When a conversation grows heated, lower your voice and return to the actual concern. A pause can help if you agree to come back and finish. Gentleness does not require remaining in danger or accepting threats. It does require refusing to make your own words another source of harm.