Staying beside the Feeling

Your spouse may bring home news you do not know how to answer. A disappointment feels larger to them than it does to you. A small success matters because of a long struggle you have only partly seen.

Paul gives a plain instruction to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. We do not have to understand every detail before we can offer companionship. Marriage gives us a daily place to practice being present with another person's experience.

Resist turning every joyful moment into a warning about what might go wrong. Resist answering every sorrow with a lesson before you have listened. There may be useful advice to give later. First, receive the person. Celebrate the good news without competing with it. Sit beside the grief without trying to rush it away. A spouse who feels heard is often better able to consider practical steps when the time for those steps comes.